Life is hard! Sometimes it's easier to believe that we may not have a choice in life. That may be true for certain events--there is no way a person could control the weather or how damaging natural disasters can be--the event itself is uncontrollable, but what about our emotional responses to them?
Mourning losses or feeling anxious about the future is a natural human process and it requires choice. Seeking or asking for emotional support is also a choice, and it may also be a scary one. Being vulnerable is something that is not celebrated or acknowledged much in this culture. It may feel isolating and even shameful at times to feel negative feelings when the world has decided to move on.
Does the pain have to continue? It depends--it depends on choice to heal and grow. Sometimes it becomes very comfortable to feel pain, and after a while negative emotion is normal. If negative emotion is a person's normal, then feeling positive emotions could be very new and even uncomfortable. This process of healing and growing takes time. It is an arduous process and by no means a simple task.
Healing and growing from one's past could be one of the most admirable accomplishments a person can do.
Sometimes we cannot control events in life, but somewhere down the line, we can choose to shift our perceptions and emotions related to it. It's not easy--the first steps are always the hardest, but it's a habit, just like exercising or eating more healthily. It will take time, effort and a little support. Asking for support is a great first step (also a brave step) towards healing and growth.
Additional Resources:
- 15 Cognitive Distortions | PsychCentral.com
- How to Wake Up: A Buddhist Inspired Guide to Navigating Joy and Sorrow
- How to Ask for Help | Psychology Today
- Living with Depression | Psychology Today
- Depression & Psychotherapy | Apa.org