To help children strengthen executive function skills, it's important to scaffold opportunities to figure out problems. Experiential problem solving with your support builds analytical skills. This is a foundation for self esteem and resiliency.
Hardships happen. When you've practiced solving problems with the safety of a grown up, it makes it easier to try again without feeling like a failure. Telling kids what to do takes away from learning how to identify problems and solutions.
Caveat to scaffolding problem solving skills is times of urgency and danger. There's no time to think when safety is a concern and adults should step in and make decisions for children.
EF Skills Supportive Strategy - Teaching vs Telling:
1) What do you think the problem is?
Seeing a child's perspective can help us focus on what a child needs. What we think is the problem could be very different from what a child thinks is the problem.
2) What should we do first?
This helps map out how a child sees a problem. They might have missing information and think of one part of the story. They might jump ahead and miss a lot of steps. This is good information! It helps us give a child the missing parts.
3) Show/Teach me what you're working on.
A child learns a lot by teaching and explaining to someone else. This helps with planning thoughts before sharing a series of steps with others, and practicing how to explain cause and effect.
️4) Let's see what other people have done.
This is a nonjudging way to expose your child to more ways to do something. Watching others is a powerful way to learn. Kids can pick what feels right and try them.
️5) Is there anything that we're missing?
Helps with planning and prioritization, metacognition (seeing the big picture), and recalling information related to the problem and information available.
️6) Let's take a break to reset our brain and body.
Hypervigilant brains and bodies panic and act impulsively. Help support clear problem solving through calm moments and patience. It can wait, AND we can do it bit by bit.
️7) Do you want me to do anything? How can I help?
Asking for help is a life skill. Having trusted adults build this bridge for autonomy and self advocacy is something all children need for school, work, and relationships.
Inspired by TEFOS2022 conversation of Seth Perler and Leslie Josel